Snow

Monday I wished and wished for snow. I didn't want to go to school, and sure enough the snow came. I was going to go to school, but I couldn't get there and back, so I decided not to and much to my delight at 11am the school was declared closed. We all thought that Tuesday we would be back at school, the snow was a thaw and I could already see it was melting. I was constantly checking BBC weather which claimed that the snow would be heavy all of Tuesday night and the following day. It sure delivered. I woke up to so much snow. More than I have ever seen before. Immediate happiness. Snow is just a rarity here. Most people like it despite the interruptions. It makes everything so beautiful and I suppose it takes people back to times when they were younger and celebrated the first snow fall in exactly the same way as they do now. Yes, it is disruptive and after a while it does become incredibly annoying, but you can't help but love it for a while. Everything is brighter and all the ugly features are hidden, it's fun and exciting especially when it comes up to your knees.

The tale of the three brothers

I loved Ron and Hermione throughout the whole of Deathly Hallows.

I've noticed that most of the parts that I wanted the film to keep all had Ron in them:

Ron and his constant whispering of magical words to the radio and finally getting the right password. I just find this part so happy and funny in the midst of so much destruction and insecurity.

Harry and Ron talking when he comes back and he is explaining about the deluminator saying that Dumbledore must have always known he would have walked out, but then Harry turning around and saying 'no, he must have always known he would want to come back.' - such a heartwarming, guy love moment.

Ron's birthday present to Harry: 'How to charm witches' and then trying it out on Hermione.

Hermione getting really angry at Ron when he comes back and Harry casting the 'protago' spell between them.

Luna's room with all the painting of Harry, Ron, Neville and Hermione, all connected with ribbons spelling out 'friends'

Xenophilius Lovegood's crumplehornsnack exploding.

Ron going insane in the cellar of Malfoy Manor whilst Hermione is upstairs

The invisibility cloak in Godric's Hollow

Despite this, I loved the film and I suppose those bits are just things that stuck in my mind from the book, and I suppose everyone has small, almost insignificant elements from the book that they love contrary to their importance. I am actually so happy that most of the parts that I loved from the book stayed.

I have never been as stressed as I am now. Everything keeps mounting into this impossible mountain that not even the best mountaineer can maneuver efficiently. Whenever I'm out and about I forget about it, but then I come home and there is a massive weight which comes with stepping into the house, a consent pressure on me. I can't just sit and do nothing anymore, every moment has to be filled and cannot be wasted. I want to slow down, to stop and sit and just stare out of a window. I can't help but think that all my anxiety and sadness is just selfish and self-involved. I want to keep myself closed off, yet I want people to pity me. I don't know how I feel. I just feel like I am under an enormous amount of pressure, not just by my parents, but also by myself. I try telling myself that if I don't end up at my dream university it is because I am not suited to that environment and in truth I know I'll be happy where ever I end up. Yet still I feel so disheartened and deflated about everything. Constantly in the shadows in my own small home.

No returns

So I was listening to the radio in the car the other day. Apparently NASA are planning a one way trip to Mars. With a maximum of 4 people. Who would go? Why would they go? How would they decide to go? How would they tell their friends and family they were going to go?

And what if they didn't like it.

For yourself

Tuesday I went to see Joshua Radin with a bunch of my friends. Once in a while you need to go out in the middle of the week and just do something fun, out of routine, out of the ordinary day to day life. If you do that every now and then, you always have something to look forward to. No one likes a formulaic film - so why make your life seem like one.

I don't think I've ever found an artist that I just want to listen to all day. His albums could be on repeat constantly and I would not get bored and want to turn it over. It's easy listening, yet at the same time it's incredibly detailed. Each song is entirely different, there isn't two which sound alike. Through his albums you can hear his progression as an artist. He ventures into different styles and types of music, yet always keeps the essence of his music.

When you go and see a show you expect to hear music, that's all you've ever heard from the artist. But when we went to see Joshua Radin play, you got so much more. He literally spoke for around 2 minutes before he played a couple of songs, explaining what each of them meant to him and why he wrote, and actually engaging with the audience. Telling us and making us listen to the words of the song, getting us to participate and helping him in making the song complete. At one point he just stood away from the microphone and listened to the audience singing along to his song 'It's a brand new day' with a massive smile on his face. At the beginning he sang a whole song without using a microphone, who else would have the courage to do that and the confidence in themselves. He's not just a singer who wants it for the fame and the money, from seeing him on stage, you can tell that he really enjoys what he is doing especially clear when he ended his set with the first song he ever wrote; 'Winter' causing the whole audience to listen and turn completely silent.

It think its something we should all adopt. The ability to want something and do something, not just for money or for recognition, but for ourselves and our own self satisfaction. It's a hard thing to do, even for people who realise that this is what we should be like.

Impossibility

Impossible is just a big word thrown around

by small men who find it easier

to live in the world they have been given than

to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact.

It’s an opinion.

Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare.

Impossible is potential.

Impossible is temporary.

Impossible is nothing.

The nature of perceiving.

I bought some heels yesterday. I'm not really the type of person to buy or walk round in heels. But I bought some anyway because I thought they would go well with a dress that I bought. So I need to start practising walking in them because currently it is not so good. I don't look elegant or beautiful. I look like a person who hasn't learnt to walk. How do they make it look so easy!

Despite the late date in the year the infamous Sun has decided to make a brief appearance again. Who knows how long it could last, maybe this one day is all we've got before winter kicks in and takes over with frosty mornings and cosy evenings. Sometimes I feel that looking at the weather forecast is like cheating. The spontaneity stops and you can predict everything. Although it seems like there is nothing worse than being caught in the rain wearing a skirt and sandals, looking back on all those times in London where paper bags have broken due to torrential down pours is actually quite humorous. Your misfortune is an impracticality of life, and it is just one that makes life that little more interesting when you want to retell the story of how it felt like you were going to drown from the insanity of the weather.

Sartre says that the only way you feel a certain way, like shame or elation, is because of other people perceiving you. It's true. The more I think about it, the more true it becomes. If you fall over, the only reason why you feel embarrassed it because others laugh at you. The only reason why you re-tell a story in the hyperbolic way that you do is so that people will laugh with you or show a reaction. Without the reaction from other people how boring would life be. We live to please others and for other people to acknowledge that. It's not a bad thing.